plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
