Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
