Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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