On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
