i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
