sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is it because I queefed?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
