I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize