it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
