honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize