I only kidnapped one of them. chill
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize