Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
