I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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