Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
