i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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