you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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