and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
