normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
