I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
