Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
