is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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