some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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