what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
