I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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