Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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