He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
