God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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