Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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