did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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