and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
