I'm eating all of the evidence.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
