You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
This girl is more easily done than said...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
