elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
