your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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