Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
