Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
