just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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