I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
