i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
