Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
