Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize