They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
