Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize