Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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