If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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