You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
