this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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