YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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