the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize