Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
