So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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