..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
