I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
