just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize