It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
