so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
