Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
