You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dick very happy bro
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
