Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
