I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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