Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
