this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
All I want is dick and wine.
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