Kiss
Puke
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
